I have a standing plan every Tuesday night to visit a friend I have had for nearly 20 years, have dinner, and watch a movie. Since she works in a liquor store, this has also meant that she has plenty of delicious things for us to try out, so she has first hand knowledge of what she is selling at work. I have always been happy to help.
Of course, I let her know back in November that my help in this area would not be available in 2017, and she was happy to switch to drinking tea instead.
Before my partner moved into my apartment, I usually went home after this movie night instead of sleeping at his place. This wasn’t because I was going to be late, as he is a night owl and wouldn’t have minded. It was because I was worried that he wouldn’t want to be around me if my host had been too generous with our beverages, as I didn’t want to do or say anything that is unlike my sober self. It isn’t as though he’s never seen me drinking before; we drink together, at home and in public. I just got self conscious, because drinking Kathy is more talkative and over-stimulating than sober Kathy, and I hate to be a bother.
He let me know something to me after I voiced this fear that became a running line between us: “I’ll still like you and want to be around you when you’ve been drinking”.
I was now more than welcome to sleep at his place, which is where I slept pretty much every other night. I was accepted for being a little different when I drink (who isn’t?) without it having to be a bad thing. I wasn’t hurting anyone. I wasn’t hurting him by talking too much.
Now, when I leave for these Tuesday meet ups, he informs me “I’ll still like you and want to be around you when you’re sober,” which is both adorable and fortunate, considering we live under the same roof now.